After feeling a bit stranded in Darjeeling for several days, we gave up our attempts to get a train and finally made it to Kolkata by air 2 days ago. This city - complete with heat (100F), chaos and color - is the India I remember. Most of the day-to-day sites and experiences are quite familiar, from the street treats of 2 rupee chai and paan to the amusingly obnoxious touts to the disturbing enormity of poverty and class division.
However, I've been astonished by one difference between this trip and my past visits. Being a woman traveler, life can be radically different depending on whether or not you have a male companion. Up until now my India trips have mainly been girls-only, meaning we got the full-on experience of gawking, groping, kisses and hollers from those over-eager Indian men. Now with Russell by my side, it's as if I have a buffer from all that male zeal. It's been blissful, really, but with the "protection" his presence offers also come the frustrating realities of a male-dominated society. These past couple days have awakened a feminist within me of which I was not aware. Sure, the gawking men still gawk, but they dare not speak to me ... really ever. In all business transactions, social interactions, anything, they always address "sir", make eye contact with Russell, expect him to order, pay bills, etc. Even when I do speak, the response is usually directed at him. I guess I need to habituate to gender inequality fast, or one of these days I won't be able to restrain the urge to scream "I exist! I am a woman and I exist - just as much as the man by my side!!!!! I have a brain and a voice, and it's okay to acknowledge my presence!" Ahh, never a dull moment in that complex love-hate relationship with India ... you're guaranteed some emotional mish-mash of hysteria, ecstasy or frustration.
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